Outcast

 -the 41st book of the massive amount of books in the Sweet Valley High series

-called Outcast

-like maybe to say no Hollywood star would ever be friends with me

-even if I was aged 6 or very young

-and hadn't made my mistakes

-in any situation. If I knew a person and maybe who would become a star. They would never be friends or talk to me

-and almost all if I met a star on the Street. Whether I had been trying to be a star or not

-would cause trouble for me

-maybe hoping it would mess up my life

-the outcast of the book Molly Hecht

-Molly like I have on my left thigh a slightly large pinkish lump 

-the book makers basing things around me

-Molly / Mole

-the makers of the series based the appearance of her on a local woman named Natalie

-who when we would meet would ask me what my illness was

-maybe trying to cause problems for me

-now my constipation and osteo problems would mean I can't study or work

-Out Cast- like I hammered the bonnet of my Grandmother's car / my Grandfather's leg outcast above the waterline

-like in the year 1981. In that year only I would wear my Intermediate jersey sleeves rolled up / out cast

-like my Grandfather's leg showing above the waterline

-Molly's boyfriend Drug Dealer Buzz. Maybe showing this the night at the end of 1990 I was lying in bed in the dark. An all dark figure came through my bedroom wall with a kind of silent dark electric chainsaw / Buzz. I used that as a symbol in things to tell me that there is no need to worry about something

-the death of Regina Morrow. Who Molly had passed drugs to. The time in 1986 from my Pajama shorts fell a fawn colored, small thumb sized Morrow / Marrow shaped object. And Regina. The time about 1987 I was at the time sleeping in my old bedroom in the dark. My Grandmother in the dark burst through the door briefly. Wearing a knee height almost see through white nighty. Her Vagina / Regina. Looked large, hairless with a rim of wrinkles around it

-I try to use the character Molly Hecht. To achieve a massive key to the Bible and Christianity in some way. Like if it came out she was the outcast character in a book series with hundreds of titles in it. Maybe a channel through space by minds with them. She would have it to console her

-the book picks up from the previous book On the Edge. Like in the WW2 photo my Grandfather is in the sea. The 'on the edge.' One leg is raised parallel just above the tide

-On the Edge / Egypt. My Grandfather was a Soldier in Egypt when the photo was taken

-the Mole / Molly / slightly 'large pinkish lump' on my left thigh. Sweet 'High'. Many years ago I made slight still there cuts 'Valley' in it with a pin. Maybe this is connected to the electric chainsaw. Or maybe the time with the dark figure is indicating this importance. Chainsaw / Christianity. Maybe meaning Change / Christianity

-'Molaxole'/ Molly. The constipation medication I have been using. Meaning for the first time in decades currently I 'cast out' bowel motions every day. Constipation / Christianity. When maybe no other medication I have tried has ever helped me